Storytime with Falkore!!!! - Page 2

LOL ...... how about some stories here?  This isn't "The Redlight District with Smaglik"!!!!!    j/k Smag!

quote:

ORIGINAL: smaglik

clear cut case of post-whoredom

..... is that a form of depression?

I am confused about that falkore....

Anyway, you want a story from me?  I'll post one up later tonite...A lot of weird sh*t has happened to me over the years, mostly brough on by myself, but nothing comes right to mind right now, well other than oprah's minge.

ROFL!!!!

That was alluding to post pardom depression ........

it seems that everyone that I know is either getting married, having children or both!  We figured that you'd have some weird $h!+ to bring to the table.

(If this is too much like potty talk, Mods or Ang, please say so)

Add me to the list.  My wife is due with our first in about a month.

See what I mean!!!   Congrats Jon!

My gf got woken up by her friend at 5:30 this morning, crying for no reason while feeding the baby.  Don't be too surprised if she gets really weird after she gives birth.  PPD is very real and can range from a bit down in the dumps to some serious $**t.

Oh I know!  I am just keeping my fingers crossed.  I have heard of some seriously crazy stuff blamed on PPD.  Plus she is already all wierd being pregnant.  She'll cry during some frickin commercials.  I'll be like "WTH is wrong with you?"  Then she's like: "It's my hormones!!"

Man .... you think she'll remember how to get to the mall?  This may work in your favor!

Nahh, cause then I'd have to drive her there on the weekend instead of playing golf.  I'm still looking into getting a Garmin.  Went and looked at BestBuy.  But the sales guy said the one I was looking at did not have the voice command function.  Maybe I'll have to order one that does.

Voice command???   They can talk to you, but you can't talk to them.  I was looking at the Crutchfield that showed up yesterday and the Pioneer AVIC-D3 caught my attention .... $1000 with a free rear-view camera, USB and a $100 add for a sattelite radio module.  Also the Eclipse AVN2210p with USB, bluetooth, a TomTom and $50 add for Sirius for $500.  Both double DIN fitment.

Oh, I thought they made them where you could tell them where you wanted to go? I guess I misunderstood. What a POS!  Haha JK!  I'm only lookin to spend about $250.  My pockets have been pretty shallow since I've been married and bought a house.  Now a baby will be turning my pockets inside out!

i had an avic-d2 in my m3.  nice unit.  off topic a bit, are we?  haha

quote:

ORIGINAL: 00AccordLX5spd

Add me to the list.  My wife is due with our first in about a month.

Better buy all your car goodies now.  You'll never have another chance.
 
I had a project car that I wanted to fix up.  Once I got married & started having kids my spare time evaporated.  Plus, for some reason my wife didn't really understand the need to bring the intake manifold into the living room to clean & port-match the runners.
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: JimBlake

quote:

ORIGINAL: 00AccordLX5spd

Add me to the list.  My wife is due with our first in about a month.

Better buy all your car goodies now.  You'll never have another chance.

I had a project car that I wanted to fix up.  Once I got married & started having kids my spare time evaporated.  Plus, for some reason my wife didn't really understand the need to bring the intake manifold into the living room to clean & port-match the runners.

 
Haha!  Yeah I've kind of accepted the fact that I probably won't be able to do a project any time soon.  Maybe the next child will be a boy and he will like working on cars.  Or maybe this little girl will like working on cars (doubtful but hopeful.)  then I could have an excuse.  I doubt my wife would be very keen on me using up a whole parking spot in the garage for the purpose of a project car though.  Don't have enough room in the back to store a project car back there either.  Pluss the neighborhood I'm in is on a golf course so they have all kinds of "protective or restrictive covenants" and crap like that.  I can't wait to seafoam one of my cars for the first time in the driveway!

I thought in Mississippi everyone had broken down cars on their property...
 
Ok...here is my story...
 
A number of years ago, I am at a McDonald's with a friend of mine.  This friend does not have a lot of patience.  In addition, it hasnt been a good day for either of us (bad bowling event).  Anyway, we stop to grab a quick bite at a McDildo's near Madison. 
 
He doesnt like pickles.  He explicitly orders his big mac without pickles.  We get our food, go sit down, and guess what...he's got pickles on it.  He is not happy.  He goes back up to the chick he ordered from (high school age) and plops the burger down open face right on the counter, asking her to tell him what is wrong with the sandwich.  SHe doesnt have much to say, and he starts to berate her about it.
 
The manager, seeing the conflict, comes over and asks him what the problem is.  His response?
 
"The problem?  I'll tell you what the problem is.  She's McF*ckin' stupid!"
 
We left shortly thereafter.

Im enjoying reading the stories folks..thanks for keeping them pretty clean for everyone...
 
WheelBrokerAng

quote:

ORIGINAL: smaglik
"The problem?  I'll tell you what the problem is.  She's McF*ckin' stupid!"

 
OMG Smag, im using that one as soon as i can

it truly was a classic line.  although, truly, she likely was.

That's awesome.
OK I got one for yall involving service at a Starbucks.  One of my buddies was waiting in line one morning.  There was this girl at the front that had terrible acne all over her face that was being a total b***h to the servers (or people behind the counter..whatever you call them.)  Anyways there was a huge line and she returned her coffee 3 times saying crap like "I wanted (blah blah blah).....this isn't right.  Make it again!"  So the fourth time she just brings the coffee back and leaves it on the counter and as she is storming out, my buddy says loudly "Geez...somebody woke up on the wrong side of the cheese grater this morning!"  Everyone waiting in line proceeded to laugh histerically while she stormed out, pretending she didn't hear what he said.

HAHAHAHA Cheese grater! d*mn thats mean....but funny.

That same guy is finishing up law school next year.  He is always pulling stuff like that.
Here's a story taken from his facebook "notes" application:

quote:

Me, Jason, Will, and friends were sitting at a table and a group of three girls were hovering next to our table for 45 minutes.

Me: [walk up to girl]
Girl: [looks excited to be getting attention]
Me: Do you want to come hang out with me and my friends until we get tired of ya'll?

The girls didn't leave, even after that. Poor things. Later on I talked to one of them alone.

Me: are you famous?
Girl: no, why?
Me: you look familiar, oh I know were you one of the Geico cavemen? You have a strong brow.

why would he do that to "hot chicks"?   im confused as to what he wanted to accomplish....or not, i guess

Well, when you go to Ole Miss, hot chicks are a dime a dozen.  I know nobody will believe me unless they've actually been there, but it's true.  Ask anybody that went to Ole Miss and they will tell you.  Once you become a senior, you don't give a rats @$$ if girls are hot if they look like they are probably dumb.  There are just as many girls that are just as hot and have a 4.0 GPA.  You don't normally find them drunk in bars trying to pick up guys.  Dumb girls annoy me, no matter how hot they are.
Plus that is also a tactic the more experienced guys use.  A lot of those girls are so tired of guys trying to be all nice to them or slinging cheesy pickup lines, a lot of times if you are a total @$$ it will turn them on.  It worked for a lot of my friends.

I have little patience for people who are inconsiderate, or obviously idiots, regardless of how they look.

One time i was in an autozone/barn, i had gotten everything i needed and walked up to the line at the register. I look at the cashier and she has a huge black eye, and i mean HUGE! So i turn to my buddy and say "Yo, look at the eye on that chic" so he turns to me and says "holy $h!+" We begain speculating on what happed for her to get teh black eye. And the usual jokes came out "She must not have listened" "Dinner wasnt ready" things like that. All the while not being quite about the situation. So we finally got up to the counter and she turns to us and says "Hell of a shinner huh?" Me and my friend were floored, we figured she was either gonna be a "witch" about hearing us making jokes. But she joined right in. My buddy even said "what did you show up late to work?" She laughed and told us to have a nice day. She was actually pretty cute too