Storytime with Falkore!!!! - Page 3

Holy crap!  You guys added an entire page when I wasn't looking?!?  Good stories btw.  I'll fill in some of my own when I have more time.  Things suddenly got extremely, rip your hair out hectic here.

so what, can we only expect 30 posts today...not the 100 we've been getting?  haha

Only responding to convos that I'm already in.  Done posting for today.  Have a nice weekend everyone!

OK my last story for today.  This one is about the same guy I posted about in my previous 2 stories.  This is the moment I realized he was quite possibly the funniest guy I know and he will do anything (surprisingly he's really a quiet guy normally, he juast has these random moments.)  So the story starts my sophomore year at Ole Miss living in the fraternity house.  We had this little patio area behind the house where we used to hang out and drink & smoke & stuff since we weren't allowed to smoke in the house.  The patio area had a driveway that ran back there so the kitchen staff could get shipments of food unloaded off the truck easily.  No one was supposed to park there.  This one guy who was a major toolbag (a year older than me - he was really short and had a terrible case of "little man" syndrome) had been parking his Maxima back there randomly and it was starting to aggrivate people.  So we had been sitting there drinking for quite a while, and around 1 or 2 A.M. (I didn't have class till late the next day) we start talking about the car.  Why should he get to park back here? We said.  "What a tool."  Then somebody goes "Some one should take a big dump right in the middle of his hood."  Tyler (the guy from the above stories) goes: "I'll do it if nobody will ever tell him."  So of course we all agreed, not thinking he would actually follow through.  Tyler goes in side and walks out with some napkins.  Then he pops right up on top of the hood, drops his pants, and lays a massive turn right in the middle of the hood!  then he proceeded to wipe and strategically place the poopie napkins under the windshield wipers!  I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life.  i thought I was going to have a heart attack.
"Little man syndrome guy" never found out who did it, and he never parked his car back there again.  Haha, sometimes he'd be like "Does anybody know who sh** on my hood?"  And we'd be like "Somebody sh** on your hood?  That's disgusting!"
So remember that story next time you hear someone brag about their child or relative being a lawyer.  You don't have to be a genius to do it, you just gotta have drive and ambition.

omg 00accord that some funny *poop* litterly

Smaglik, this is for you.  i got it from my buddy Tyler's facebook profile under his "notes" application. He puts all kinds of random thoughts like this in there.  I wish I could post more cause it's frickin hilarious, but It is not really clean enough material for the forum.  This one I thought was OK and smaglik could probably relate. 

quote:

"Personally, if I were paralyzed I could probably cope with not being able to walk. The only thing that I would have a problem with is the anxiety I would have knowing that anyone could teabag me at anytime and I couldn't do anything about it. Not being able to swat the floppy balls out of your face would suck."

Mods let me know if that was too much.  I'll get rid of it.

Smaglik you actually reminded me a lot of this guy when I first got on here.  With your statements about teabagging & Hot Karls.  Tyler was the first person who I had ever heard the term "Hot karl" from as well as many others.

undefendable tea bags would suck.  a lot.

just wondering ... what with you people and teabags?

Alaskan pipeline ftw.

Just something smaglik, in his infinite wisdom, started.  Watch out for Hot Karls too.

My friend's story ....


AFTER MATH: My love for sportbikes lives on... I'm not going to let some idiot who wanted to kill me hurt my love for motorcycles..  I will continue riding one of the ultamate machines that man has ever developed.  I luckily escaped with a scar on my right leg and all the road rash vanished after about a  month. 

Same guy .....


Vegas was nuts yoooo
Ok first of all I must say that rental companies are dumb. They gave me a brand new ford escape with 3000 miles on it. THe first thing i do with it is go to the sand dunes 100 miles north of vegas. These sand dunes are not small. They are over 1000ft high and look like mountains. So i lower my tire pressure and put the ford in first gear and mash the pedal like i stole the mofo. Me and my friend chris (also crazy as me) beat on this thing like it was a rag doll. The deam ford wished it had never seen us come into Enterprise to rent it. We went off of every jump, and hit every hole and bowl there was. We were going 40mph when we hit these jumps. The poor ford. In the end the car was totalled. Front bumper came off, rear tailgate was dented, all skid plates came off, both wheel wells ripped off, front fender was dented, head lights destroyed, steering wheel was tilted, and the car shook violently. I had killed the car in 5 hours haha. Oh well. It was a good time. Please check out the pics and see if I did a good job.

This is how you kill a car that you rented from Enterprise

I might add also that this is the guy that got the Caddies for a Nag's Head trip, gave one to an ex-con and decided to punch a break-glass alarm before going swimming in the ocean at 3am nearby where there were shark attacks ...... and he's a government DOD engineer!!!!

i would assume that you guys paid for the damage waivers.
 
what did you tell them when you returned it?  I would think taking it off-road would nullify that waiver, but i do not know.

I wasn't there.  He called them up and told them that there's something wrong with their car and he needs a new one.  He had the waiver.

That is why I will never knowingly buy a used rental car.
The reason I said "knowingly" is Enterprise often sells their cars to used car dealerships who will turn around and sell them as CPO vehicles.

Carfax ftw ...... they may miss accidents, but not owners!

That is a good point.  I don't trust them for accidents, but you should definitely see who all of the previous owners were.  Unless of course Enterprise used another entity's name as the owner when they originally had it titled (the sneaky ba*****s)

Still, it would be a corporate name.

Yeah, but it could be misleading.  Whatever corporation or entity that owns the Enterprise that bought the vehicle could have their name on the title.  But I guess I am getting complicated here with a bunch of "what if's".  Main point is, be careful.  If the vehicle was owned by some corporation or entity (not an individual's name) you may want to check into it before buying.  You may indeed find out it was a previous rental car.

and beaten to hell like that poor escape!  I love the pic with the wheels off the ground!

I know these huge posts take up a lot of space, so if you guys haven't seen the 120 mph bike accident story, go back to page 4!

That bike accident is stupid....What kinda moron would pull a stunt like that (pulling in front of a bike and slamming on the brakes)????? coulda been vehicular homicide for that dumb tard!!! And the rx-7 guy shoulda been prosecuted for attempted vehicular homicide regardless of them both being stupid..

It looked to me like the RX7 guy got away scott free.

quote:

ORIGINAL: 00AccordLX5spd

Yeah, but it could be misleading.  Whatever corporation or entity that owns the Enterprise that bought the vehicle could have their name on the title.  But I guess I am getting complicated here with a bunch of "what if's".  Main point is, be careful.  If the vehicle was owned by some corporation or entity (not an individual's name) you may want to check into it before buying.  You may indeed find out it was a previous rental car.

When you pull a carfax it will tell you that it was a rental agency that had it, regardless of what their name is.  I've seen a few of them on vehicles we've bought from the auction.

That sounds right.  I mean, the whole purpose of Carfax is to notify potential buyers of possible problems or past abuse.  I am just afraid that pretty soon sellers(only the dishonest ones) will find ways to keep harmful info off of Carfax reports.
 
Hey.....we are way off topic here.  Let's get back to the stories!

quote:

ORIGINAL: 00AccordLX5spd
Hey.....we are way off topic here.  Let's get back to the stories!

 
this one time at band camp...