**JOKES here (Funny/KLEEN, Oneliners & Short Stories)**
**JOKES here (Funny/KLEEN, Oneliners & Short Stories)**
#2
08-03-2009, 08:35 AM
Administrator
Hello New Member
Welcome to the HAF and Thank You for joining...
Jokes are Good, Just make sure that they stay clean and not nasty or racial..
Here's mine for you to read...
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
WheelBrokerAng
Jokes are Good, Just make sure that they stay clean and not nasty or racial..
Here's mine for you to read...
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
WheelBrokerAng
#3
10-02-2009, 09:24 AM
Administrator
Police Comments For Real
These were taken off of actual police car videos around the country:
" If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document "
or how about this one!
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they are new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while "
WheelBrokerAng
" If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document "
or how about this one!
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they are new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while "
WheelBrokerAng
#4
10-02-2009, 09:49 AM
Angelo, cute signature thing about UCLA...
WheelbrokerAngelo spent some time in Milwaukee, & I grew up there.
When I was a kid, we said that UCLA was "Univ. of Cudahy by the Lake, Almost" - derisively referring to Cudahy high school.
WheelbrokerAngelo spent some time in Milwaukee, & I grew up there.
When I was a kid, we said that UCLA was "Univ. of Cudahy by the Lake, Almost" - derisively referring to Cudahy high school.
#5
10-02-2009, 11:46 AM
Administrator
Hello Jim!
Why Thank You James:
I Remember Cudahy, yes I do
Hey, when we going to Lunch Again, remember it's my turn to buy!
Let me know...don't forget , you have my phone number...
Angelo
I Remember Cudahy, yes I do
Hey, when we going to Lunch Again, remember it's my turn to buy!
Let me know...don't forget , you have my phone number...
Angelo
#7
10-02-2009, 05:32 PM
Administrator
Maybe
Maybe with this Tag included... "Military Intelligence an Oxymoron "
#8
10-04-2009, 08:36 PM
Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
1. 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
2. 7 have been arrested for fraud
3. 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
4. 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
5. 3 have done time for assault
6. 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
7. 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8. 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
9. 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
10. 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
And along the political lines;
Obama's health care plan will be written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it.
Passed by a Congress that hasn't read it and whose members will be exempt from it.
Signed by a president who smokes, funded by a treasury chief who did not pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that is broke.
What could possibly go wrong?
And finally, Things that make ya go "HMMMMMMMM"
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. So, the guy that made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear.
1. 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
2. 7 have been arrested for fraud
3. 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
4. 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
5. 3 have done time for assault
6. 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
7. 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8. 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
9. 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
10. 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
And along the political lines;
Obama's health care plan will be written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it.
Passed by a Congress that hasn't read it and whose members will be exempt from it.
Signed by a president who smokes, funded by a treasury chief who did not pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that is broke.
What could possibly go wrong?
And finally, Things that make ya go "HMMMMMMMM"
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. So, the guy that made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear.
Last edited by hondadude; 10-04-2009 at 09:58 PM.
#9
10-05-2009, 11:37 PM
Administrator
Yes I really do like that one ..every thing is true..that's what makes it so good...WheelBrokerAng
