Hey my names andy and i have a 2 door 1990 accord lx (i believe) i was driving one day and i put it in neutral to cost down a hill then i noticed my rpm's were jut going down and down and down then i went to 0 and my car died. i pulled into a back street and compression started it cause my starter wasn't turning over right. I drove another quarter mile o my friends house. i got there and it smell like burning plastic when i opened my oil cap on the valve cover, and black smoke came out. i know my car pretty well since its my baby and my second car. then i put my hood down and tried to start it normally, then my starter at first sounded fine then it would start dying out like my battery was dead and its not. i got a flash light and looked under the hood and notice one of the bolts for my starter was loose, I tightened it and tried again. my starter will do a nice strong half turn then die out, then another half turn and die out (i was constantly hold it on the start position) i know my batterys not dead my alt works fine and i checked the charge with my dad battery charger and everything was fine. so i tried to compression starting it thinking that would help cause it should start no matter what like that, and nothing happened. i tried 1st gear it didnt start, i tried 2nd gear and still nothing. i got my car to the top of the hill and tried reverse compression starting and still nothing. it just makes the sound of all the gears moving (yeah know?).
I'm tired of my car constantly pooping out., before this my main relay (mistuba main relay-0088) wen out and i got brand new one.
oh yeah i have no check engine lights and my oils and lubs are all fine.
any help? ill give more info to..
i got a stock f22 (manuel)

 

Black smoke is "Holy Sh*t" coming out of your valve cover. I'd triple check the engine oil level.

1st assumption: sounds like your engine seized from lack of lubrication, but what do I know? You're there.

Luck - post up, this is interesting!

 

OP- are you still there and wanting help?

If so, a few things I'd like to ask.

Did/can you test for spark at the spark plugs?

Pull the dist cap and be sure the dist rotor is spinning when trying to start the car.

 

now my master relay is broke again x( now im gunna replace that and see if it helps. i was low on oil when it broke down... so maybe i can oil it and get the master relay then see what happens?