That's definitely not fair on her part. I get jealous easily as well and I'm not a fighter by any means, but maybe you need to go toss their sh*t and show some dominance. Once college started I got really defensive of my girl and it's working with the guys she goes to school with. If she's gonna be immature about it, and it's not something small, tell her to cut the sh*t or you're gone. The first thing I taught my girl was that if she was going to be stupid and play cat-and-mouse games I wouldn't put up with it. Best of luck to you and if you really love each other things will resolve.

 

I can honestly say I know where you are coming from. My wife never once cheated on me at all but if she see's a friend and gives them a hug it's cool, but if I do it (unless it's certain people that she likes) she gets all bent out of shape. And I can forget about going to hooters or something of that nature (HIN might be an exception if she could come along...).

Side note on trust: Typically speaking the parter who accuses someone of cheating is the one who themselves cheated in the past. They feel bad for cheating so they want to blame it on their partner and in a way want their partner to do it so they are "equal" again. yeah it's strange but it's true.

Anyway, I hope it works out the way it's supposed to but I know it sucks while you are going through it. I would also ask her to stop being flirtaous with other cast members and to at least stand up for you (I.E. some guy asks her to sit on his lap and she says "sorry but I wouldn't do that to my boyfriend")

Yes I'll delete this when you ask.

 

first off, nasty gave some GREAT advice with this


Don't be responsible for loosing something that's dear to you by being so afraid of that loss that you push it away.


and I know because I have...and standing on a edge because I do love the woman so much....and I don't even know if we are going to be getting back together (I have been told friends for now and that's the best she can offer, so who knows? I pray and that's the best I can do besides hope she can see the new me coming out)

but if you really love her, AND if she realy truly loves you....then she shouldn't be playing these games, its not fair to you in the end....and I mean in the end of messing with your heart and emotions...lies, deciet and cheating always seem to go hand in hand and they WILL eventually destroy what you are seeing as a good thing right now. I say show the dominance, tell her if she can't respect you by staying off other guys laps, hugging and playing around with hem and junk and respext you as "HER BOYFRIEND AKA PRE ENGAGEMENT TYPE THING", then your gone brother....move on as they say. sure there are plenty of girls out there that would just kill for a straight up honest type guy.

 

Well gents I'm out for the evening. I wish you all the best in your endevors, it's never easy when it's happening to you and hindsight will always be 20/20. Ultimatly it's the two of your's decsion and no one can make that for you. Just be sure you evaluate yourself as well as her and not just what she is doing. Relationships are a two way street.

Sorry I can't delete this tonight since I'm AFK till morning. PM me or just post when you want it dropped.

 

Very mature post here about the subject finch13
I thnk you have the problem's answer for our friend:

Go Cleveland WheelBrokerAng

 

Thanks guys. Went on a 4 mile walk with my Golden and it was pretty nice. As for the advice, I really appreciate all of it, both views. I guess ill reply to eveyones reply since this is pretty important to me.

Cheated on me? No, more of tickling and flirting. As for showing up, I think it would just be a lie because I dont support what shes doing. I know that sounds bad, but I cant support her kissing someone else, and theres no point in acting like I do. I know, I am debating the same thing, I dont want to go b/c I dont want to see it but then again I do because I want to see it, you know? I already told her I am not going and she cried, but I think I may go w/o her knowledge, watch some of it, feel horrible, leave and go to bed and sleep. I trust her, after one of our fights she finally got it I was sick of everything and she has been working harder. I dont want want to push her away, but I have been honest with her and told her earlier that I would most likely "shut down" and that it would really bug me.
And I have told her, which I know is 100% true that if those incidents she did/put me thorough hadnt of happened I would be much less jealous.


Yes he did. Thats pretty hard to hear outright. But I knw what you mean. Well I told her I am going to give her one more chance, and if that fails I will either end it, or do what she did to me, right back to her. Her mom is fine, but sometimes she can be ridiculous, not really towards me to much, but I am not a person who is going to get yelled at even if it is an adult. I dont know how being upset over this is immature. haha Jumping on the grenade yet! lmao Assuming I know what that is, I have not done that yet, nor plan to anytime soon! haha

I'm sorry man. Well I wish you the best of luck, and hey, if you need advice, obviously these guys know what they are talking about.

Im not really a fighter either, and like you this is the first relationship that I have ever had where I really stood up and defended us. Which means something. I have shown her that I am sick of dealing with the same old, and that she needs to stop. I havent really threatened to end it really blunlty because it would be hard for me as well. I know, I am tired of the game...ugh. I hope things resolve, and the thing I am worried about is what if she has another play where she has to do this again[:'(][&:]

Well its comforting someone else understands where I am coming from. Have you talked to her about that?! Not going to Hooters, she wont let me either, but I have never been there before so I am sure that helps with the want to go.

Cheating wise, I cheated my sophmore year, and thats a whole different story. Lets say she was all over this other guy (sitting on his lap, just them hanging out) and then when we were breaking up she tried telling me the devil was making me do it so yeah..... She was fine until then, and the other stuff. Anyways back to my current relationship, I dont think I am trying to blame her for cheating or anything. I know what she has done, such as tickling, flirting, biting his finger, just hime and her in a picture with them on the beach andonly his swimming trunks on, but that was earlier in our relationshipamong other things.
I hope it works out too...I dont want to grow up regretting what I could have had. And she did tell him no to sitting on his lap, thank goodness.

Thanks, I am wondering if she saw some of this it would open her eyes...JUST a thought though. I will let you know when I would like it deleted and thanks again

[quote] first off, nasty gave some GREAT advice with this


Don't be responsible for loosing something that's dear to you by being so afraid of that loss that you push it away.


and I know because I have...and standing on a edge because I do love the woman so much....and I don't even know if we are going to be getting back together (I have been told friends for now and that's the best she can offer, so who knows? I pray and that's the best I can do besides hope she can see the new me coming out)

but if you really love her, AND if she realy truly loves you....then she shouldn't be playing these games, its not fair to you in the end....and I mean in the end of messing with your heart and emotions...lies, deciet and cheating a

 

I just talked to her.
Told her how much this was hurting me.
Her response "its just a play" no im sorry or anything else


I am honestly so crushed and havent felt this hurt...omg

 

make sure your actually in love with her not just in love with how she makes you feel.

Then really think about where this relationship is going, and remember in 10 years you'll be a completely different person. Is it likely that as you mature, she will mature in the same way, at the same rate?

Also, you shouldnt dwell on how long a relationship has lasted and base whether you will stay together based on that. you need to look at the future, not the past.
If its not ment to be its not ment to be, regardless of how long youve been together.

When you talked to her about it, did you mention the flirting with the other boys?

Would you feel this jelous if her kissing the boy was just "some guy" instead of someone you knew (and didnt like)?
my guess is no, and maybe if you asked her to not flirt with him so much, she would be more understanding.

 

I'll probably get slammed for this, but I'm gonna throw it out there.
Go to a nudy bar with a bunch of your buddies. Get a lap dance. Make sure she finds out about it, actually....tell her you went.
How is that any different than what she is doing? The only difference is the women don't have clothes on and you have to pay for them to flirt with you. And they don't kiss you.
My wife is totally cool with me going to the nudy bar, even although I never go. The last time I went was my bachelor party. I haven't had any desire to go since I've been married.
They are loads of fun though.
I took my wife once (back when she was my girlfriend) and she had a blast!

 

Dude, ive been in this exact thing. I dated this girl in HS for almost 2 years. Major jealousy issues coming from her, hugging issue and all that. She was a major control freak, but hot and was giving me more than3 guyscould handle sexually. So i dealt with it....I went to college and the day i left she slept with another guy....(im like WTF?!?!?!?! (not saying this is gonna happen to you).....What i do wanna tell you is this. Most likely you will not marry this girl. This is a high school relationship... there are tons of other women out there, andthe sooneryou realize this and start enjoying your college experience the better.....My experience dragged on into the second semester of my freshman year even after she cheated on me the day i left for school.... take this as a learning experience...If you cant trust each other its just gonna make everything harder in the end. feelings of guilt, and sadness, and confusion are gonna fill your head and its gonna suck. But learn from it and apply that the other women you date......


I dont mean to be a downer, but this is the likely conclusion...you can do what you want. Im just speaking from personal experience of nearly the same things....maybe not the same actions. but the same issues of jealousy, trust, distance, high school....

Good Luck, do some internal thinking....and get to enjoying college..

"Quit worrying about stupid things! You have 4 years to be irresponsible. You won't remember classtime, but you will remember the time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So stay out late, go out on a Tuesday night when you have a paper due on Wednesday. Spend money you DON'T have. Drink until sunrise. The work never ends, but college does." Tom Petty