UPDATE: Ok, I finally decided that the car wasnt going to fix/ put itself back together so despite the cold (and dark) I worked on it all last night. I took the rest of the bumper and bumper related parts off so I would have total access to the G201 and G301 grounds. I spent a good 2 hours cleaning them with a file, small flat screwdriver and a wire brush. I removed all the factory paint so it would be a metal on metal contact. And I got them as clean as possible. Got the whole bumper, etc back on. Warmed it up, and had to ride the gas pedal at 2000 rpm for awhile cuz it was so cold outside I couldnt get the problem to happen to see if it was fixed. Anyway it wasnt, and I wasnt holding my breath cuz at this point I had almost lost all hope.

So.... that left me with my last option. The toggle. So I cut the red/blu at the relay. Tested to make sure that stopped the compressor and it did. Then I got a wire that had 4 individual wires inside it, decided this made more sense that having to run 2 individual wires all through the car. I split the 4 wires into 2 sets of 2 and twisted them together, then attached each end to the cut ends of the red/blu. Ran it all through the car following the stock harness hole that runs under the steering wheel, zip tying as I went along. Then I cut a hole into the plastic filler piece that fills the hole in the radio trim area that is opposite the hazard switch. (Im guessing this is a missing feature that the EX model has.) Anyway I had a left over simple toggle that was part of the aftermarket alarm I had pulled out of the car, and I spliced that into the wires I ran and mounted it on the radio trim almost directly beneath the AC switch.

And tested it. At first I ran it with the AC on and the toggle off and I noticed that the idle raised up which Im thinking is the ecu opening the idle air control valve to compensate for the additional load of the compressor, but since I had the circuit open the compressor didnt run thus it raised the idle. Then I flipped the toggle, the compressor engaged, idle returned to normal and ac worked fine.

I had to ride the gas again to warm it up enough to test for the problem, and when the cooling fan came on the idle didnt budge, and the compressor clutch DID NOT engage. FIXED!!! (sorta) So after all the money, time, tests, and frustration in the end a simple toggle fixed the problem.

And even though it is "rigged" at this point I dont care. It takes less than a second to flip that toggle when I want AC, and doesnt look bad either. And when people ask what it is Ill tell them its their ejector seat. ;-)

So for now Im done. Maybe eventually Ill decide to try to fix it again, and at least its narrowed down much more than it was the first time I tried to figure this out. Anyway I want to thank all who helped me, I wouldnt have known how to do most of those tests without you guys. Thanks again and God Bless.

 

I am glad this worked out for you.
The proper way is always the best but sometimes you just gotta "RIG IT"

 

Yes it was your idea that I "stole". Simple sometimes is the way to go. Thanks again for the idea.

 

PS: The crazy thing about the problem is this. When the AC is on the problem isnt even hardly there. Because the ECU has already compensated for the additional load by raising the idle. So when the cooling fan comes on while the ac is on the idle barely drops at all. Its only when the AC is off that the problem is there. So the toggle is actually more of a fix than it was thought to be.

 

I'm glad you found a solution that works.